I feel as safe with you as I do in a 8 by 8 room, made of sticks and all windows. Your words like rocks that the pedestrians throw from the roads. No protection from the guilt you forced on my concious. So let me finish, before you interrupt me with your manipulative accusations, I have more respect for me than your entire teeny bopper population. Never again will I let someone take advantage of a heart big enough for the both of us. Never again will I allow someone to grab me by the hands and distract me while they tie strings to my limbs. I’ll never live a life other than my own, because as far I’m concerned its the only one worth anything. So stop poisoning me with your jealous heart. I stood taller than skyscrapers before you detonated the bomb you call your love, let me clean up this mess you left behind and rebuild. I will never again be played for the fool you convinced me I was. I will never again change anything other than my number. You say I lost the best thing to ever happen to me, but since when did packing and leaving me behind become a characteristic of someone who deserves that name? And since when did touching someone underaged make you think I’d ever look at you the same? Never again will I feel the need to apologize for my past or the events that lead up to me meeting you. The only apology that should be announced should be the one coming from you, where you apologize for ever putting me through the hell that you put me through. A prisoner in my own home, working to my bare bones to afford a place you could invite infidelity through our phone whenever I left you alone. I won’t take this, god damnit. I don’t deserve this, god damnit. I’m not stupid or blind or flirtatious. I’m not every whore you stuck it to before. I don’t fiend for attention. I am the complex of complex that you tore down to the simplest of simple. Vulnerable. You knew I was too weak to leave you, and the dreams that I followed were not even my own, but I believed in you and I left home after home. And on one day you were willing to throw me away like yesterdays news printed too late. But I refuse to wait around to listen to what you have to say because as far as I’m concerned you have nothing to say. I’ll cut these strings you pulled and sever the ties, you already burnt this bridge when you opened her thighs. So trust me when I tell you this, never again will you feel my breath on your back when we sleep, never again will you feel my heart beat. Never again will your hand fit in mine, never again will you breathe in my lungs or take up another second of my valuable time. I’d tell it to your face, but I’d rather never see you again, so today is the day forever has to end.
wrote that a long time ago. not relevant anymore, but certainly felt good to write at the time.